XX ADULT PUNS!

It was at a cocktail party, and the guy was getting nowhere with a really
stunning blonde.
Finally, he consulted the host, a buddy, about the situation, and the latter
thought a bit, then said,
"Look let me mix her up one of my special Zombies. It'll get her so stiff
that she'll go to bed with you just like your wife."
"Hell, no." reacted the guy. "I don't want her that stiff."

Harry went into a nightclub and saw a gorgeous gal sitting by herself at the
bar,
So, he asked her to dance.
She agreed and they took to the dance floor for a slow one.
While they were cheek to cheek, Harry said,
"You really smell terrific. What's that you have on?"
The flattered girl told him it was Channel #5.
Then, returning the compliment, she said,
"You smell good, too. What is it that you have on?"
Harry replied,
"Well, I've got a hard on, but I didn't think you could smell it."

Did you hear about the gay bear that laid his paw on the table?

The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with.
I told her,
"Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"


Pick-Up Line:
If we were both squirrels, would you play with my nuts?

Matters had progressed to the point where the freshman and his date were
naked in the motel bed when the girl had a change of heart.
"I suppose you're going to tell me now that you're waiting for 'Mr. Right',"
he said dejectedly.
"That's a silly old romantic notion," laughed the coed. "I'm just waiting
for 'Mr. Big'."

Men always pay more for car insurance
Because
Women don't get blow jobs while they're driving._,_.___