Fwd: Love this Doctor - have a good laugh

Love this Japanese Doctor!

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life.
Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on
exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not
make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by
driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Fruit very good. Brandy distilled
wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even
more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Grain good too.
Bottom up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one.
If you have two body, your ratio two to one.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise program?
A: Can't think of one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting
more vegetable be bad?

Q : Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around
the middle?
A: Oh no! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should
only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It
best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!

Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have
had about food and diets.

And remember:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather
to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other
- body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO,
what a ride!!"

AND.....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on
nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all
those conflicting nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart
attacks than Brits.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart
attacks than Brits.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is
apparently what kills you.