XXX ADULT PUNS!

There was old guy named Lee,
Who was stung in the balls by a bee,
He made oodles of money,
By oozing pure honey,
Every time he attempted to pee.

A new study concludes,
"Sex decreases the incidence of airborne viral infections.
The more sex you have, the less chance you have of getting a cold."
Now every time a woman sneezes, I hear someone say,
"Hey, I got something for that."

If you drink
Don't park,
Accidents cause people.

Confucius Says:
Baby conceived on back seat of car with automatic transmission grows up to
be shiftless bastard.


ADULTERY:
The wrong people doing the right thing.

Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing.
One lady turns and asks,
"Do you still get horny?"
The other replies,
"Oh sure I do."
The first old lady asks,
"What do you do about it?"
The second old lady replies,
"I suck a lifesaver."
After a few moments, the first old lady asks,
"Who drives you to the beach?"

A drunk was staggering through the park and saw a young athlete doing
pushups.
"Wash the matter, Mac?" inquired the lush. "Lose your girl?"

"Doctor," the embarrassed man said,
"I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore.
"Mr. Garrett, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can
do."
The next day, the worried fellow returned with his wife .
"Take off your clothes, Mrs. Garrett," the Doctor said. "Now turn all the
way around. Lie down please. Uh-huh, I see. Okay, you may put your clothes
back on."
The doctor took the husband aside.
"You're in perfect health," he said. "Your wife didn't give me an erection
either."

A game show contestant mooned the camera.
His ass was in Jeopardy!