XX ADULT PUNS!

A pansy who lived in Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room.
They argued all night
Over who had the right
To do what, with which, and to whom.

I thought I was being pretty funny, initiating sex by telling my wife,
"Prepare to be invaded by the Mongol hordes!" -- until I discovered she had
built a Great Wall of Vagina to keep me out.


Gesundheit:
What the guy said about how he fit into the virgin.

Did you hear about the game show contestant who mooned the camera?
His ass was in Jeopardy!

As Mark fixed himself a martini to carry him through the ordeal of waiting
while Peggy got ready for their date, he could hear her singing in the
shower.
"Sorry I'm so late," she finally called out to him, "but I was shopping and
lost track of the time."
Clutching a large towel about her, she edged into the room.
"Would you like to see me in my new dress?" she asked.
Mark took appreciative note of her newly bathed charms straining at the
confines of the barely adequate towel.
"I would like," he said with a smile, "nothing better."

One of my favourite activities is surfing the net while sitting stark naked
in my chair.
I'm still not sure why they fired me, though, because I only did it during
my break.

A man was shopping in the men's department at Blooming dale's when he
noticed an absolutely beautiful woman behind the sales counter.
He went up to her and said,
"Good morning, madam."
She smiled pleasantly and asked,
"And what would you like?"
"What would I like? I'd like to wrap my arms around you and squeeze you
tight. Then run my hand up and down your bottom and squeeze that. Then run
my hands along your inner thighs, up underneath your dress. When I get to
your sweet womanhood, I'd like to rub that while simultaneously unbuttoning
your blouse with my teeth. And then I'd like to suck on your beautiful tits
and bite your nipples lightly. But what I came to buy is a new tie."

Why is being in the military like a blow job?
The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.