XX ADULT PUNS!

Martinis, my girl, are deceiving:
Take two at the very most.
Take three and you're under the table.

A New York lawyer sent gifts to many of his clients.
The gifts were sleeves of golf balls, suitably inscribed with the lawyer's
name.
One of the recipients sent an email of thanks back to the lawyer saying,
"That's the first time I've ever had a lawyer buy the balls."


What is worse than a piano out of tune?
An organ that goes flat in the middle of a piece.

There once was a priest who had to spend the night in a hotel and after
dining in the restaurant, he invited the waitress called Julie up to his
room for drinks.
After a while he started advancing on her when she stopped him and reminded
him he was a holy man.
"It's O. K.," he replied. "It's written in the bible."
So, after a wild night of sex the waitress asked to see where in the bible
it says it's okay.
The priest picks up the bible off the dresser opens to the first page where
someone had written in pencil,
"Julie, the dining room waitress puts out!"