XXX ADULT PUNS!

Said a specialty hooker named Jean,
Who made the Jacuzzi her scene,
"A rub-a-dub-dub,
Three men in a tub
Not only cum close, they cum clean.'


An Alabama redneck was sittin' on the sofa, with his half naked woman,
watching the news from San Francisco.
"Jus' look at them homo- sexshuals. They're ruining the country, with men
marryin' men, and women marryin' women. It's disgustin. Darlin', we oughta'
go out there and protest! Don't you think so?"
She replied,
"Yes, Daddy."

Homosexual:
One who has sex only in his own residence

A female teacher with a great figure was starting her junior high class on a
unit on astronomy.
She asked the class which part of the Universe interested them most.
A boy in the front row immediately replied,
"Uranus!"

The earthworm comes equipped with both male and female sex organs.
Now there's a creature who really can go Fuck himself.)

Two desert travelers rented a Camel from Hertz-Rent-a- Camel.
Out in the middle of the desert the camel stopped and laid down.
The chaps could not get it to arise no matter what they tried.
They stopped a passing Caravan and asked the leader to send out a Camel
Mechanic when they got to the nearest village.
A few hours later the Mechanic arrived.
He looked in the Camel's mouth, ears, and up its rectum.
He went to his tool bag and pulled out a large rubber headed sledge hammer.
He raised this high in the air and brought it down on the Camel's belly, as
hard as he could.
Well, that Camel let a fart you could hear and smell as far away as 17 sand
dunes.
It then struggled to its feet.
"Ah ha," the Mechanic said! "Just as I thought, vapour locked!"

Confucius say man who eat too many prunes,
Get good run for money.

A guy walks into a bar and sits down next to an extremely gorgeous woman.
The first thing he notices about her though, are her pants.
They were skin-tight, high-waisted and had no obvious mechanism zipper,
buttons or Velcro) for opening them.
After several minutes of puzzling over how she got the pants up over her
hips, he finally worked up the nerve to ask her.
"Excuse me miss, but how do you get into your pants?"
"Well," she replied, "you can start by buying me a drink."

When a brothel catches fire,
Some come out running while others run out coming!

Two Columbia Yuppies, neighbours for years, were constantly trying to
"out-status" each other.
The first man mentioned that his daughter had just been accepted at Vassar.
"That's nice," replied the other, "but the main thing the girls really learn
there is fornication."
The first man became irate and said,
"I'll have you know my wife attended Vassar!"
The neighbour smiled and said,
"Take it from me, Pal, your wife certainly could use a refresher course."

What's the basic plot for a romance novel set in the inner city?
In the end, the hero gets the heroin.