XXX ADULT PUNS!

There was a young nun from Siberia,
Endowed with a virgin interior,
Until an old monk,
Jumped into her bunk,
And now she's the Mother Superior

Dear Rick Santorum, Rick Perry and Michelle Bachmann:
Religion is like a penis.
It is nice to have a religion, and certainly okay to be proud of your religion.
However, it is not appropriate to wave it around seductively in
public, and downright disgusting to try cramming it down people's
throats.

What's more profitable;
A one-story whorehouse or a two-story whorehouse?
A one-story whorehouse, because there's no fuckin' overhead.

What is the difference between love and Herpes?
Herpes lasts forever.

A travelling salesman on business in West Virginia met a young lady in
a bar, and invited her to his room.
As she was disrobing, he said,
"Say, how old are you?"
"Thirteen." she said.
"Thirteen?! My God! You're a child! Put your clothes back on right now
and get out of here!"
On her way out the door, the confused nymphet paused, turned to him, and said,
"You're superstitious, right?"

Went to my doctor for my routine checkup today and everything seemed
to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my butt!
Do you think I should change dentists?

An old retired sailor puts on his old uniform and heads for the docks
once more, for old times sake.
He engages a prostitute and takes her up to a room.
He's soon going at it as well as he can for a guy his age, but needing
some reassurance, he asks,
'How am I doing ?'
The prostitute replies,
'Well, old sailor, you're doing about three knots.'
'Three knots'? He asks. 'What's that supposed to mean ?'
She says,
"You're knot hard, you're knot in, and your knot getting your money back.

What do blonde's like so much about tilt steering wheels in cars?
More head room.

The biology teacher at the all-girl academy was handing back a test on
male anatomy on which the girls did poorly.
"I don't understand why you girls can't understand the male sex organ.
You've had it pounded into you all semester.

Men are like Snowstorms.
You never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how
long he will last.