Top 10 Thoughts For 2008

Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an
erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to
use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky ... not really good for anything, but
you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying
of nothing.

Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention
to criticism.

Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax
cut saves you $0.30?

Number 2
In the '60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world
is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2008:
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among
the millions and millions of cows in America , but we haven't got a
clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are
located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge
of immigration.

And the BONUS thought for today

'Life is like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your
ass tomorrow.'