Married 3 Times

A woman married three times walked into a bridal shop one day and told
the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth
wedding.

"Of course, madam," replied the sales clerk, "exactly what type and
color dress are you looking for?"

The bride to be said: "A long frilly white dress with a veil."

The sales clerk hesitated a bit, then said, "Please don't take this
the wrong way, but gowns of that nature are considered more
appropriate for brides who are being married the first time - for
those who are a bit more innocent, if you know what I mean? Perhaps
ivory or sky blue would be nice?"

"Well," replied the customer, a little peeved at the clerk's
directness, "I can assure you that a white gown would be quite
appropriate. Believe it or not, despite all my marriages, I remain as
innocent as a first-time bride. You see, my first husband was
soexcited about our wedding, he died as we were checking into our
hotel.

My second husband and I got into such a terrible fight in the limo on
our way to our honeymoon that we had that wedding annulled immediately
and never spoke to each other again."

"What about your third husband?" asked the sales clerk.

"That one was a Republican," said the woman, "and every night for four
years, he just sat on the edge of the bed and told me how good it was
going to be, but nothing ever happened."