XX ADULT PUNS!

A popular house of ill repute was visited by a lesbian.
The woman requested a 15 year old, and the madam replied,
"I'm sorry, we don't serve minors to lickers."

A lady and a gentleman were arguing on every subject they discussed.
Said the lady,
"Sir, we cannot agree on a single thing."
"You are wrong, Madam," he said. "If you should go into a room in which
there were two beds, one with a woman in it and the other with a man in it,
with whom would you sleep?"
"Why, with the lady, of course."
"You see; so would I."

The 69 position is like driving in rush hour,
An asshole is always in front of you!

A man is showering up in a locker room with his buddy when he notices his
friend is very well endowed.
"Damn Bob, you're hung!"
Jim exclaims.
"I wasn't always this impressive, I had to work for it."
"What do you mean?" Jim asked.
"Well, everyday for the past two years I've spent an hour each night rubbing
it with butter. I know it sounds crazy but it actually made it grow 4
inches! You should try it."
Jim agrees and the two say good bye.
A few months later the two are in the same locker room and Bob asks Jim how
his situation was.
Jim replied,
"I did what you said, Bob, but I've actually gotten smaller -- I lost two
inches already!"
"Did you do everything I told you? An hour each day with butter?"
"Well, I was out of butter, so I've been using Crisco."
"Crisco?" Bob exclaimed, "Dammit Jim, Crisco is shortening,"

Most women prefer old gynaecologists because they have shaky hands.

After an evening at the theater and several nightcaps at an intimate little
bistro, the young man whispered to his date,
"How do you feel about making love to a man?"
"That's my business," she snapped.
"Ah," he said. "A professional!"

He's a real humanitarian.
He just opened a halfway house for girls who won't go all the way.

We did sex education at school, and were shown various films on the subject.
One I especially remember was called, 'How To Put On A Condom'.
So, when the time came, and I was in the position to try out what I had
learned at school, I took the condom and followed the instructions from the
video.
All was going well, until she said,
"So, now what do we do with the banana?"

Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.

A young woman was walking in the park one day when she came across a frog.
She picked it up and decided to take it home with her.
Later that night, she kissed it, and put it under her pillow and the next
morning when she awoke, the frog was gone and there was a handsome young man
sleeping beside her!
She could not believe it!
Given the screaming and yelling a bit later, apparently neither did her
mother and father!

DONKEY BARBECUE:
Where everybody gets a piece of ass.