Puns Intended...

A bachelor is a guy who is footloose and fiancée-free.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

A fellow once sat up all night wondering where the sunshine comes from...
Finally, it dawned on him.

A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said:
'Keep off the Grass.'

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.
When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said,
'No change yet.'

Alimony is the high cost of leaving.

I fired my masseuse today.
She just rubbed me the wrong way.

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.
Then, it hit me.

It was an emotional wedding.
Even the cake was in tiers.

Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of DA feet.

No matter how much you push the envelope,
It'll still be stationery.

Once I got angry at the chef of an Italian restaurant,
So, I gave him a pizza my mind.

The guy who invented the door-knocker got a No-bell prize.

The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

Two Eskimos sitting in their boat were chilly;
But, when they lit a fire in the boat,
It sank,
Proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.
One hat said to the other,
'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'

Two silk worms had a race.
They ended up in a tie.

When cannibals ate a missionary,
They got a taste of religion.