XX - Child Support Agency

Child Support Agency forms

The following are all replies that British women have put on Child
Support Agency forms in the section for listing father's details.

These are apparently genuine excerpts from the forms. Be sure to check
number 11, it takes the prize (and the biscuit!)

1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was
fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of
child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was
being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can
provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party
if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was
conceived at a party at 36 Grand Avenue where I had unprotected sex with
a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I
fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you send me his
phone number? Thanks.

4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a
BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels.
Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area, and see if
he's had it replaced.

5. I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope
confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he is Christ
risen again.

6. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to
do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications
for the British economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right
by the country. Please advise.

7. I do not know who the father of my child was as all squaddies look
the same to me. I can confirm that he was a Royal Green Jacket.

8. Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him,
can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC cds?

9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at
Euro-Disney; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember
for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening.
If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party
at 146 Miller Drive, mine might have remained unfertilised.

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all
when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.