Jest A Minute.

From a Child's Mouth...

Several years ago, when I lived in New York and flew to customer sites
often, my wife would usually drop me off at Newark (N.J.) airport and
pick me up when I returned.

On one trip, I was only going to be gone for a few days, so I drove
myself, and parked the car at Newark.
When I returned, the weather was lousy, and it was late at night. I
wanted nothing more than to get home to the comfort of my wife and my
own bed. When I arrived, the storm was very loud, with crashing
thunder and Severe lightning.

As I came into my bedroom about 2 a.m., I found my two children, Alex
(3) and Cindy (12), in bed with my wife, Carolyn, apparently scared by
the loud storm.
I resigned myself to sleeping in the guest bedroom that night.

The next day, I talked to the children, and explained that it was okay
to sleep with Mom when the storm was bad, but when I was expected
home, please don't sleep with Mom that night. They said okay.

After my next trip several weeks later, Carolyn and the children
picked me up in the terminal at the appointed time. Since the plane
was late, everyone had come into the terminal to wait for my plane's
arrival, along with hundreds of other folks waiting for their arriving
passengers.

As I entered the waiting area, Alex saw me, and came running shouting,
"Hi, Dad! I've got some good news!"
As I waved back, I said loudly,"Hi, Alex! And what is the good news?"
"The good news is that nobody slept with Mommy while you were away
this time!" Alex shouted.
The airport became very quiet, as everyone in the waiting area looked
at Alex, then turned to me, and then searched the rest of the area to
see if they could figure out exactly who his Mom was.
Points to Ponder.

- The Bill of Rights (Void where prohibited by law)

- If women can have PMS, then men can have ESPN.

- A fool and his money can throw one heck of a party.

- If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

- When blondes have more fun, do they know it?

- Remember, half the people in the world are below average.

- What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

- Losing a wife/husband can be hard. In my case it was darn near impossible.
Life of a Government Worker.

- You work 200 hours for the $100 bonus check and jubilantly say "Oh
wow, thanks!"

- Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube.

- When workers screw up they are transferred to another office to be
someone else's problem; when management screws up they are promoted.

- Your boss' favourite lines are "when you get a few minutes," "in
your spare time," "when you're freed up" and "I have an opportunity
for you to excel."

- Training is something spoken about but never seen.

- Vacation is something you roll over to next year.

- No travel money to do the mission, but always enough money for
another useless conference.

- Change is the norm.

- Organizational direction changes every 2 or 3 years.

- The worst possible reputation comes from being the initiator of a complaint.

- You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting.

- You can name more Government employees that used to work with you
than the ones you work directly with in your current position.
Think About It.

- Is there another word for synonym?

- Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

- What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

- If a parsley farmer is sued can they garnish his wages?

- Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

- Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will
clean them?

- If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

- Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

- If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to
remain silent?

- Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

- How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?