Daily Dirty & Dilly

Picking Hymns.
A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning.
He said,
"Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going
to help me preach.
Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn that
comes to your mind."

The pastor shouted out,
"Cross!"
Immediately, the congregation started singing in unison,
"The Old Rugged Cross."

The Pastor hollered out,
"Grace!"
The congregation began to sing,
"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound."

The Pastor said,
"Power!"
The congregation sang,
"There is Power in the Blood."

Then the Pastor said,
"Sex."
The congregation fell in total silence.
Everyone was in shock.
They all nervously began to look around at each other afraid to say anything.
Then, all of a sudden way from in the back of the church a little old
87 year old grandmother stood up and began to sing ........
"Precious Memories."

Waking Up for Church.
One Sunday morning, a mother went in to wake her son and tell him it
was time to get ready for church, to which he replied,
"I'm not going."
"Why not?" she asked.
"I'll give you two good reasons," he said. "One, they don't like me,
and two, I don't like them."
His mother replied,
"I'll give YOU two good reasons why you SHOULD go to church.
One, You're 59 years old, and two, you're the pastor!"

The Picnic.
A Jewish rabbi and a Catholic priest met at the town's annual 4th of
July picnic.
Old friends, they began their usual banter.
"This baked ham is really delicious," the priest teased the rabbi.
"You really ought to try it. I know it's against your religion, but I
can't understand why such a wonderful food should be forbidden!
You don't know what you're missing.
You just haven't lived until you've tried Mrs. Hall's prized Virginia
baked ham.
Tell me, Rabbi, when are you going to break down and try it?"
The rabbi looked at the priest with a big grin, and said,
"At your wedding."