Some medical humour

The Faith Healer

Two women were sitting in the doctor's waiting room comparing notes on
their various disorders.

"I want a baby more than anything in the world," said the first, "But
I guess it is impossible."

"I used to feel just the same way," said the second. "But then
everything changed. That's why I'm here. I'm going to have a baby in
three months."

"You must tell me what you did."

"I went to a faith healer."

"But I've tried that. My husband and I went to one for nearly a year
and it didn't help a bit."

The other woman smiled and whispered, "Try going alone, next time, dearie."

Migraine Cure

A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches.
When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that his
poor patient has had practically every therapy known to man for his
migraines and STILL no improvement.

"Listen," says the Doc, "I have migraines too, and the advice I'm
going to give you isn't really anything I learned in medical school,
but its advice that I've gotten from my own experience. When I have a
migraine, I go home, get in a nice hot bathtub, and soak for a while.
Then I have my wife sponge me off with the hottest water I can stand,
especially around the forehead. This helps a little. Then I get out of
the tub, take her into the bedroom, and even if my head is killing me,
I force myself to have sex with her. Almost always, the headache is
immediately gone. Now, give it a try, and come back and see me in six
weeks."

Six weeks later, the patient returns with a big grin.

"Doc! I took your advice and it works! It REALLY WORKS! I've had
migraines for 17 years and this is the FIRST time anyone has ever
helped me!"

"Well," says the physician, "I'm glad I could help."

"By the way, Doc," the patient adds, "you have a REALLY a nice bath
room and a sexy wife."

Negotiations

Then there's the woman who goes to the dentist. As he leans over to
begin working on her, she grabs his testicles.

The dentist says, "Madam, I believe you've got a hold of my privates."

The woman replies, "Yes. We're going to be careful not to hurt each
other, aren't we?"