Ancient Chinese Torture

A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small
house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese
man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me
up for the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so
much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three
worst Chinese tortures known to man."

"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as
well, and entered the house.

Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was
young,beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously
attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him
during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and
went up to bed alone. But during he night, he could bear it no longer,
and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to
keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept
back to his room, exhausted, but happy.

He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a
large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture
1: Large rock on chest." "Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If
that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry
about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw
the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read:
"Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced
down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end.
Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped
out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a
large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle
tied to bedpost."