Fwd: A FEW Laffs!

A mixed religion seminar
Recently, I went to a mixed religion seminar.
The Christian Priest came, laid his hands on my hand and said,
"By the will of Jesus Christ, you will walk today!"
I smiled and told him I was not paralysed.
The Rabbi came, laid his hands on my hand and said,
"By the will of God Almighty, you will walk today!
I was less amused when I told him there was nothing wrong with me.
The Mullah came, took my hands and said,
"Insha Allah, you will walk today!"
I snapped at him,
"There's nothing wrong with me"
The Buddhist Monk came, held my hands and said,
"By the will of The Great Buddha, you will walk today!"
I rudely told him there was nothing wrong with me.
After the sermons, I stepped outside and found my car had been stolen.

Is she world best wife?
This story may be manufactured or may be real, but great for a good laugh.
A Singapore millionaire secretly maintained a mistress in Hong Kong,
He bought a posh sea view apartment (in his own name) for her to live
in, plus gave her a monthly allowance of US$5,000.
The house cost him about US$700,000 in 2009, the affair lasted for 5 years.
He sold the house this year for $3.8 million, after they broke up.
A quick calculation shows that after 5 years of a fling with the
woman, he still had a net gain of $2.8 million plus six years of FREE
LOVE.
When his wife found out about this, he offers the $2.8 million to her.
But she was still not happy...
And she was very mad at him and gave him a big mouthful.
She yelled at him at the top of her voice and said,
"BLOODY IDIOT, STUPID FOOL, Why the hell didn't you keep TWO MISTRESSES !!!!

WHAT CAUSES ARTHRITIS?
A drunken man who smelled of beer sat down in an underground train,
next to a priest.
The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick,
and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat
pocket.

He opened his newspaper and began reading.
After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked,

"Say Father, what causes arthritis?"
The priest replies,
"My son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women,
too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with
prostitutes and lack of a bath."
The drunk muttered in response,
"Well, I'll be damned."
Then returned to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized.
"I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you
had arthritis?"
The drunk answered,
"I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."

MORAL: Make sure you understand the question before offering the answer.