Fwd: Adult Puns

XXX ADULT PUNS

"When I see a monk's ass I just grab it."
Said the lazily amorous abbot.
"Although it's more fun,
To have sex with a nun,
It's so hard to get into the habit!"

Can you get hearing aids from phone sex?

An innocent young man went into a strip club for the first time.
Not wanting to watch the show alone, he sat down next to an older gentleman.
"Come here often?" he asked.
"Not really," he replied. "I usually wait until I get home."

How is it that women pee every 10 to 15 minutes;
Yet, they are always retaining water?


The trial on pornography ended with a hung jury.

"Some guys call theirs Dick or Peter, John Thomas or Willie. What do
you call yours?"
"I don't have to call mine anything, It usually comes without being called."

Said the little bell to the big bell,
"You might have a bigger dong than I have, but I do more ringing."

"But my elderly aunt was considered a highly respectable spinster!"
the society matron protested.
"Can't you find some way to cover up the shocking fact that she died
in bed while being simultaneously serviced by two paid studs?
"You just leave it to me, Mrs. Van Horn," soothed the police officer.
"I'll just put it in my report that she died at the stroke of two."

It is good for woman to meet man in park,
But
Better for man to park meat in woman

Yesterday it was Bingo evening at the Church.
Eventually, one of the ladies shouted "Bingo!" and the old lady next
to me muttered, "F**k me!"
When all the commotion died down, how could I have possibly known that
it was not an invitation?


Good girls say no
Bad girls say when?
Naughty girls don't say anything,
They just moan and scream a lot.