As You Slide Down the Banister of Life, Remember

1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written

  An impressive new book.  It's called .........

   'Ministers Do More Than Lay People'

2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink

  And be Mary.

3. The difference between the Pope and

  Your boss,  the Pope only expects you

  To kiss his ring.

4. My mind works like lightning, One brilliant

  Flash  and it is gone.

5. The only time the world beats a path to

  Your door is if you're in  the bathroom.

  6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once.

    The seat folded up, the drink spilled and

  That ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

7. It used to be only death and taxes

  Now, of course, there's

  shipping and handling, too.

8.  A husband is someone who, after taking

    the trash out, gives the impression that

    he just cleaned the whole house.

9. My next house will have no kitchen - just

  Vending machines and a  large trash can.

10. A blonde said, 'I was worried that my

       Mechanic might try to rip me off.

    I was relieved when he told me all

     I needed was turn signal fluid.'

11. Definition of a teenager?

     God's punishment...for enjoying sex.

12. As you slide down the banister of life, may

    The splinters never point the wrong way.

NOW GO HAVE A GOOOOD DAY.......