New Computer Virus' Alert

LEWINSKY VIRUS --

Sucks all the memory out of your computer...then e-mails everyone
about what it did.

RONALD REAGAN VIRUS --

Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

MIKE TYSON VIRUS --

Quits after two bytes.

OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS --

Your 300MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100MB, then slowly expands to 200MB.

DR. JACK KEVORKIAN VIRUS --

Deletes all old files.

ELLEN DEGENERES VIRUS --

Disks can no longer be inserted.

DISNEY VIRUS --

Everything in your computer goes Goofy.

PROZAC VIRUS --

Screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS --

Terminates some files, leaves, but IT WILL BE BAAAAAAAK.

LORENA BOBBIT VIRUS --

Re-formats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards it
through Windows.

VIAGRA VIRUS --

Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.

CLINTON VIRUS --

Gives you a 6 inch hard drive with NO memory.