XX- Wives are funny creatures..

Wives are funny creatures!
They don't have sex with their husbands for weeks and then they want
to kill the hell outta the woman who does?

Wife: My hubby & I have what he calls Olympic Sex.

Friend: Wow,must be a terrific sex life huh?

Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 years.

The stock markets now are like an old man's thingie?

Just refusing to rise and the irony is that everyone is still getting
screwed!!!

This week is Breast Awareness Week.
Spread the slogan:
"We stare because we care!!!"

A loud scream comes from the bedroom and the husband runs in.
He sees a guy leaping out of the window.

Wife yells: That guy just humped
me twice!

Husband: Twice???
Why didn't you call me in after he did it once???

Wife: Because I thought it was you,until he started the second time.

Failure is not when your girlfriend leaves you, it's only when you
leave her a virgin.

Tension is when wife is pregnant!!
Terror is when girlfriend is pregnant!
Horror is when both are pregnant!!!!
Tragedy is when you are not responsible for both!!!

The Blue Whale ejaculates over 40 gallons of sperm when mating!!!
Only 10% enters the female.

And you always wondered why the sea tasted salty?

Why is sex similar to shaving?
Well, because no matter how well you do it today,tomorrow you have to
do it again.