When Insults Had "Class"

When Insults Had Class (no 4-letter words!!) These glorious insults
are from an era when cleverness with words was still valued, before a
great portion of the English language was taken over by American slang
and curse words and got boiled down to 4-letter words, not to mention
waving middle fingers.

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, 'If you were my
husband I'd give you poison,' and he said, 'If you were my wife, I'd
drink it.'

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: 'Sir, you will either die on the
gallows or of some unspeakable disease.' 'That depends, Sir,' said
Disraeli, 'whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.'

'He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.' -
Winston Churchill

'A modest little person, with much to be modest about.' - Winston Churchill

 'I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with
great pleasure. 'Clarence Darrow

'He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the
dictionary.' - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

 'Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big
words?' - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

'Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time
reading it.' - Moses Hadas

'I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I
approved of it.' - Mark Twain

'He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.' - Oscar Wilde

'I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a
friend....
 if you have one.' - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

 'Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second.... if there
is one.' - Winston Churchill, in response.

'I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.' -
Stephen Bishop

'He is a self-made man and worships his creator.' - John Bright

'I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing
trivial.' - Irvin S. Cobb

'He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.'
- Samuel Johnson

'He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.' - Paul Keating

 'There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.' Jack E. Leonard

 'They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of
human knowledge.' - Thomas Brackett Reed

'In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.'
- Charles, Count Talleyrand

Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on
it?' - Mark Twain

'His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.' - Mae West

'Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.'  -
Oscar Wilde

'He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts.. . for support
rather than illumination.' - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)