Try Gas ...

Senator Hillary Clinton and former Attorney General Janet Reno were having one of those girl to girl talks, and Hillary said to Janet, "You're lucky that you don't have to put up with men having sex with you. I have to put up with Bill, and there is no telling where he last had his 'thing'."

Janet responded, "Just because I am esthetically challenged (that's "politically correct" for real ugly) doesn't mean I don't have to fight off unwelcome sexual advances."

Hillary asked, "Well, how do you deal with the problem?"

Janet replied, "Whenever I feel that a guy is getting ready to make a pass at me, I muster all my might and tense and squeeze to break wind as loud and hard as I can."

That night, Bill was already in bed with the lights out when Hillary slipped into bed. She could hear him start to stir, and knew that he would be wanting some action. She had been saving gas all day long and was ready for him. She tensed up her butt cheeks and forced out the most disgusting sound you could ever imagine.

Bill rolled over and said, "Janet, is that you?"