Have a laugh

Story: 1
A young executive was leaving the office at 6 p.m. when
he found CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in
his hand. "Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and
important document, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing
work?" Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on,
inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. "Excellent,
excellent!" said the CEO. As his paper disappeared inside the machine.
"I just need one copy."
Lesson I - Never, never assume that your BOSS knows
everything

Story: 2
A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the
teller at the window: "I want to open a damn checking account." To
which the astonished woman replies: "I beg your pardon, sir; I must have
misunderstood you. What did you say?" "Listen up bitch! I said, I want
to open a damn checking account right now!" "I'm very sorry sir, but we
do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank." Having said this,
the teller leaves the window and goes over to the bank manager to tell
him about her problem customer.

They both return and the manager asks the old geezer:
"What seems to be the problem here?" "There's no damn problem, sonny,"
the elderly man says. "I just won 50 million bucks in the damn lottery
and I want to open a damn checking account in this damn bank!" "I see,"
says the manager thoughtfully. And you're saying that this bitch here is
giving you a hard time?"
Lesson II - If you are RICH, you can get away with
almost anything.

Story: 3
An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on
the way to LA when the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What
kind of ese are you?" Confused, the Japanese replied, "Sorry but I don't
understand what you mean." The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are
you?" Again, the Japanese was confused over the question. The American,
now irritated, then yelled, "What kind of -ese are you...Are you a
Chinese, Japanese,Vietnamese!, etc......???" The Japanese then replied,
"Oh, I am a Japanese." A while later the Japanese turned to the American
and asked what kind of 'key' was he. The American, frustrated, yelled,
"What do you mean what kind of '-key' am I?!" The Japanese said, "Are
you a Yankee, donkey, or monkee?"
Lesson III - Never insult anyone.

Story: 4
There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, a British
and a French, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the
bottle, a genie appeared. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out
of the bottle, he said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will
give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you
shout what you want the pool of water to become, then your wish will
come true."
The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool,
jumped and shouted "WINE". The pool immediately changed into a pool of
wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool.
Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same andshouted," VODKA" and
immersed himself into a pool of vodka. The German was next and he jumped
and shouted, "BEER". He was so contented with his beer pool. The last is
the British. He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a
banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted,
SHIT!!!!!!!........."
Lesson IV - Think twice before you say something,
because sometimes what you say accidentally does happen.

Story: 5
A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on
their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a
wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says,
"Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will
allow one wish each" So the eager senior manager shouts, I want the
first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no
worries for a month. "Pfufffff, and he is gone. Now the junior manager
could not keep quiet and shouts, "I want to be in Florida with beautiful
girls, plenty of food and cocktails for a month." "Pfufffff, and he is
also gone. Then it's the boss's turn, and he says calmly, "I want these
two idiots back in the office after lunch"
Lesson V- "Always allow the bosses to speak first".