Fwd: ... Today's Quotes ... Sarcasm

... Today's Quotes ... Sarcasm

Sarcasm Is Everywhere
A friend had an interesting experience recently.
On her way to work, she went to pick up her low-fat decaf from a café.
As she approached the counter, the attendant asked her what she'd like.
As usual, she placed her order.
On a whim, she asked the salesgirl,
"Aren't you having a great time here?"
The girl hardly looked at my friend, and responded,
"Yeah, I guess. Apart from meeting idiots, I have a great life. What
the heck! I live to serve."

Clearly, that was not the answer my friend was expecting.
However, later she learned that the waitress thought that my friend
was being sarcastic about her work.
It was a misunderstanding.
But the important lesson here is that people are so often hit by
sarcasm that they do not know how to differentiate between sarcasm and
a genuine compliment.

How to Spot Sarcasm
Sarcasm can be an underhand compliment, a snarky retort, or a curt jibe.
People often use sarcasm to vent their unhappiness.
Or to hurt others.
Some sarcastic comments are so subtle that you wouldn't be able to
tell the difference between a compliment and sarcasm.

Many famous actors and writers are known for sarcasm.
Groucho Marx was admired and feared for his in-your-face comebacks.
His words hardly ever missed the mark, and often kept inflated egos in check.

Mark Twain was especially famous for his witty sarcasm.

He earned quite a reputation for his tongue-in-cheek jabs at
educational institutions, and even religion and death.

Winston Churchill

and Oscar Wilde were also infamous for their famous putdowns.


When Sarcasm Works Like Magic
Sometimes you need to put people in their place.

Especially those Internet trolls, who have the
'I-can-write-whatever-I-want' attitude.

When logical debates and arguments lose their sheen, you can resort to sarcasm.

If you want to use sarcasm to end a pointless argument, or to cut down
a narcissist to size, use these funny sarcastic quotes.

With a biting retort, you can have the last word, and the last laugh.

Walter Kerr
Half the world is composed of idiots, the other half of people clever
enough to take indecent advantage of them.

Oscar Wilde
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what
I am saying.

Janeane Garofalo
I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is
always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And
chipped a tooth.

Fred Allen
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become
well-known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

Sir Winston Churchill
A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then
asks you not to kill him.

P. J. O'Rourke
After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not
for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd
have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.

Cal Thomas
Asking politicians to give up a source of money is like asking Dracula
to forsake blood.

Oscar Wilde
I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There
is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect.

Satchel Paige
Don't look back -- something might be gaining on you.

Golda Meir
Don't be so humble -- you are not that great.

Jonathan Kellerman
Government is like junior high. Your status depends upon whom you're
able to persecute.

Salvador Dali
Have no fear of perfection -- you'll never reach it.

A. Whitney Brown
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian
because I hate plants.

Victor Borge
I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the
hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.

Oscar Wilde
I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

Ronald Reagan
I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked
like if Moses had run them through the US Congress.

Fred Allen
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Frank Lloyd Wright
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of
fools. Let's start with typewriters.

Billy Wilder
If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.

Mark Twain
It is better to be thought a fool, than to open one's mouth and remove
all doubt.

Benny Hill
Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.

Aldous Huxley
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

Oscar Wilde
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we
personally dislike.

Buddy Hackett
My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.

Jonathan Fuerbringer
One of the hardest things to imagine is that you are not smarter than average.

Albert Einstein
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and
I'm not sure about the former.