Men - Pl enjoy - Women - Don't get annoyed!

An airline introduced a special package for businessmen. Buy your ticket;
get your wife's ticket free.
After a great success, the airline sent letters to all the wives asking how
was the trip.
All of them gave the same reply, "Which trip?"
*******************************************

Husband was seriously ill. After thorough examination, doctor sent him
outside to wait.
Doctor to wife: Give him healthy breakfast, be pleasant to him and keep him
in good mood, don't discuss your problems, don't demand new clothes or gold
jewels. Do this for one year and he will be fine.
On the way home, husband asked wife: What did the doctor say?
Wife: No matter what we do for you, you are going to die!
*******************************************

An intelligent wife is one who spends so much that her husband can't afford
another woman.
*******************************************

Wife buys a new phone and decides to surprise her husband who is sitting in
the living room.
She goes to the kitchen, calls her husband from the new number: "Hello
darling!"
The husband responds in a low tone: "Let me call you back later honey, the
dumb lady is in the kitchen."
*******************************************

Cool message by a woman: Dear mother-in-law, "don't teach me how to handle
my children, I'm living with one of yours and he needs a lot of
improvement."
*******************************************

A kid was beaten by his mom.
Dad came home and asked, "What happened son?"
Kid said, "I can't adjust with your wife anymore, I need my own."
*******************************************

In an African safari, a lion suddenly bounced on Santa's wife.
Wife: Shoot him! Shoot him!
Santa: Yes, yes. I'm changing the battery in my camera..
*******************************************

What is the difference between mother and wife?
A – One woman brings you into this world crying and the other ensures you
continue to do so.
*******************************************

Husband and wife are like 2 tires of a vehicle.
If one punctures, the vehicle can't move further.
Moral: Always keep a spare tire....
*******************************************

What's the similarity between chewing gum and begum (wife) ??