Jokes banned in Pakistan

Pakistan's president Zardari has tasked his country's top
investigation agency to go after those who send, receive, or forward
funny or derogatory text messages about the country's president.
Anyone sending or receiving jokes about Zardari will now become liable
for a 14-year jail sentence.
Temporarily, many Pakistanis who have so far been enjoying sending and
reading funny text messages about their president have reverted to
sending messages without any mention of Zardari. Bloggers and
mainstream Pakistani media have called the new rules 'draconian' and
many others contended that such laws would actually encourage further
ridicule of the Pakistani president who is consistently portrayed in
these text messages as a thief, a dog, a traitor or a demon.
Here are some of those text messages that have angered the Pakistani
establishment:

1. Long lines
A man standing in a long line for food tells the others in the line
that he is leaving the line to go to shoot the president. He returns
after a few hours and rejoins the line.
"Did you manage to kill him", everyone asks him.
"No, that line is longer than this one", he replies.

2. Robber meets Zardari
Robber: "Give me all your money!"
Zardari: "Don't you know who I am? I am Asif Ali Zardari."
Robber: "OK. Give me all my money."

3. TV anchor announcing:
Terrorists have kidnapped our beloved Zardari and are demanding
$5,000,000 or they will burn him with petrol. Please donate what you
can. I have donated five liters."

4. Postmaster General announcing
To commemorate the ascension to the Presidency, Pakistan Post has
officially launched a new stamp. But the people of Pakistan are
confused which side on the stamp to spit on.

5. Announcement In Zardari's official airplane…
Mr. President , We are about to land.
could you please put Sherry Rehman (former Information minister) in an
upright position. Thank you….

6. Pakistani meets American
Pakistani to American: What do you guys do with thieves?
American: We treat them humanely and give them nice food, warm clothes
and long jury trials
Pakistani: That's nothing. We give them the presidency.

7. Genie meets Pakistani
Genie to Pakistani: Order me my master. What can I do for you?
Pakistani to Genie: Bring me all the wealth in the Swiss bank.
Genie: My name is Genie, not Zardari.