Haloween with the ACME Costume Company...

Halloween Costume Problem!!!

A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween Party.
He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head & his leg, so he
writes to a costume company to explain his problem. A few days later
he received a parcel with the following note:

Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief
will cover your bald head, and with your wooden leg, you will look just
right as a pirate.

Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.

The man thinks this is terrible because they have emphasized his
wooden leg.. so he writes a letter of complaint. A week goes by, he
receives another parcel and a note, which says:

Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a monk's costume. The long robe will cover
your wooden leg, and with your bald head, you should really look the
part.

Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.

Now the man is really upset since they have gone from emphasizing his
wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head, so again he writes the
company another nasty letter of complaint. The next day he gets a
small parcel and a note, which reads:

Dear Sir,

We have TRIED our very BEST!!!
Please find enclosed a bottle of molasses & a bag of crushed nuts.
Pour the molasses over your bald head, pat on all our crushed nuts, stick your
Wooden Leg up your arse and go as a caramel apple.

Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.