One-Liners.

One reason why computers can do more work than people is that they
never have to stop and answer the phone.

Teenagers express their burning desires to be different by dressing
exactly alike.

For fast acting relief, try slowing down. --Lily Tomlin.

The best cure for insomnia is plenty of sleep. --W. C. Fields.

Indecision may, or may not, be my problem. --Jimmy Buffett.

Cured ham? No thanks, pal. Cured of what? What if it has a relapse on
my plate?

My idea of cleaning the house is sweeping the floor with a glance.

A tree never hits an automobile except in self-defence.

Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

A rumour without a leg to stand on will get around some other way.