This letter is from the Udurawana from the Kandy Hilly's.

Jokes from Good Ole' Siri Lanka.....Mail From Udurwana to Bill Gates (You may have read them though!)

Dear Mr. Bill Gates (is that your real name? .....so funny),


We have bought a Computer with Microsoft for first time to our home and
we have big problems, which I want to be bringing to your notices.

1. After connect to internet we planned to open e-mail account so we
filled the form in Hotmail in the password box but something funny happens only
******appears (stars), but in the rest whatever we typed the letters and
numbers appears nicely , but we face this problem only in password box.
The user book told if there is problem check with hardware but when we
went to check it with hardware vendor in the town (Kandy Hardware Stores)
that bugger got angry and shouted and said 'Get out' that he can't understand
the computer problem, so don't tell to check with any hardware in future
because those fellows are crazy. We tried and tried to open the e-mail account
typing stars ***** but no success at all. I request you to check this as
we ourselves do not know what the password is.

2. Can you give a secret code for the HOTmail so only I can see the HOT
stuff. I don't want my wife and child to see any of the HOTmails. Also give
some COOLmail for my wife and TEENmail for my Son.

3. We are unable to enter anything after we click the 'shut down' button
and have to re-start everytime we want to type a new letter. Is it a Virus?
If so to which Doctor should I go to check the Computer Virus ?

4. There is a button ' Start' but there is no " Stop" button. We
request you to check this and put a Stop too.

5. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend in Kandy
clicked 'run' and has run and run so far but computer did not still tell
him to stop ! So, he told me not to ever use "Run' we request you to change
that to "sit", so that we can click that by sitting and don't have to
run anywhere .

6 . Is there any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find only
're-cycle', but I have only scooter at my home as I can't cycle due
to leg pain .

7 . There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife
lost the door key and we tried and tried a lot for tracing the key with
this 'find', but unable to trace. Is it a bug??

8 . Same way even the 'Save' button is not working. Last week we
were going on a walk by the lake and my Mother-in-Law fell into the
Kandl lake so I quickly went home and pressed the 'Save' button but when I got
back to the lake she was dead. But anyway there was some good in that
because now we got her param-parava generation house on the Kandy
Hillys. But it is important that it should work from now.

9 . Another big problem, every night I am not sleeping well as I have
to protect the 'mouse' from our CAT. So I suggest u to introduce a DOG
instead of the mouse so I can rest in peace !

10.My child learnt 'Microsoft Word' so now he wants to be learning
'Microsoft Sentence', so when can you give him a good Sentance ?

11. I am in doubt so tell me what kind of Curtains should I buy for
your Microsoft Windows & also confused why there are no Doors -
only Windows ??? Somebody forgot that know !!!

12. One friend told that there are Bites on his Computer but he cant
receive them. Can you also include some Bites in my Computer - I
mostly like Cadju and Rata Cadju and Bola Kadala but I like to try
anything interesting you also have !

Looking forward to your good service,

Best regards,

Your esteemed customer,
K.P.G. UDURAWANA.
The House on the Hilly's
Kings Town
Kandy
SIRI LANKA.