Stress Relievers

Stress Reliever #1 Wife : You always carry my photo in your
handbag to the office.
Why? Hubby : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible,
I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife : You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself,
"What other problem can there be greater than this one?"

Stress Reliever # 2 Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your
worries, troubles and lighten your burden. Boy: It's very kind of you,
darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.

Stress Reliever # 3 Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad
this morning,he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

Stress Reliever # 4 Wife to husband: "What's your
excuse for coming home at this time of the night?"
Husband to wife: "Golfing with friends, my dear."
Wife to husband: "What? At 2 am?!" Husband to wife: "Yes,
We used night clubs."

Stress Reliever # 5 Father to son after exam: "let me
see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents"

Stress Reliever # 6 A teacher asked her class for sentences using
the word "beans".. "My father grows beans," said one student. "
My father cooks beans," said another. Then little Johnny spoke up:
"We are all human beans."

Stress Reliever # 7 Interviewer to Millionaire: "To whom do you owe
your success as a millionaire to?" Millionaire: "I owe everything
to my wife." Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman.
What were you before you married her?" Millionaire: "A Billionaire"

Stress Reliever # 8 Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be
yours forever. The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.

Stress Reliever # 9 A husband was asked: Do you talk to
your wife after sex? He replied: Depends, if I can find a phone

Stress Reliever # 10 ; Man to wife on wedding night: Are you sure
I'm the first man yo u are sleeping with? Wife replied: Of course
honey, I stayed awake with all the others!

Stress Reliever # 11 Why did they stop printing PAMELA ANDERSON
stamps in the U.S. ? Answer: Because people started licking
the wrong side.

Stress Reliever # 12 A wife asked her husband: What do you
like most in me - my pretty face or my sexy body?
He looked at her from head to toe
and replied: I like your sense of humour.

Stress Reliever # 13 Doctor to his lady patient: You look
terribly weak and exhausted! Are you having your meals
three times a day as I have advised? Lady replied: Doctor,
I thought you said three males a day.