WHEN I am 100, IF I LEAN A LITTLE, JUST LET ME.

The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the
activities for her 100th birthday were taking place.
Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she would write notes when she needed
to communicate.

After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the
right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and stuffed
pillows on her right side.
A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the family
grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left side..

Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again grabbed her,
and then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up.

A nephew who arrived late came up to Grandma and said ....
'Hi, Grandma, you're looking good! How are they treating you?'

Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the nephew:

'Bastards won't let me fart.'