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Sunday, September 09, 2007

Dont we just love him

We just love our Presidend - dont we . He continues to make these
gaffes and on purpose to get people on our side. He is so loveable ...

...........................

Bush shows gift of gaffe at APEC summit

Fri Sep 7, 11:03 AM ET

SYDNEY (Reuters) - Even for someone as gaffe-prone as U.S. President
George W. Bush, he was in rare form on Friday, confusing APEC with
OPEC and transforming Australian troops into Austrians.
Bush's tongue started slipping almost as soon as he started talking at
a business forum on the eve of an Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation
(APEC) summit in Sydney.
"Mr. Prime Minister, thank you for your introduction," he told Prime
Minister John Howard. "Thank you for being such a fine host for the
OPEC summit."
As the audience of several hundred people erupted in laughter, Bush
corrected himself and joked, "He invited me to the OPEC summit next
year." Australia has never been a member of the Organization of the
Petroleum Exporting Countries.
Later in his speech, Bush recounted how Howard had gone to visit
"Austrian troops" last year in Iraq. There are, in fact, no Austrian
troops there. But Australia has about 1,500 Australians military
personnel in and around the country.
Upon finishing his speech, Bush took the wrong way off-stage and,
looking slightly perplexed, had to be re-directed by Howard to a
center-stage exit.
But not before a veteran White House correspondent seized the
opportunity to ask Bush whether there had been any new message in his
speech. Apparently misunderstanding the question, he bristled and
asked, "Haven't you been listening to my past speeches?" before
turning away.
Bush is no stranger to the occasional faux pas, and often jokes about
his habit of mangling the English language.
One of his highest-profile gaffes came in May when, at a welcoming
ceremony for Britain's Queen Elizabeth II, he nearly placed her in the
18th century.
Then there was the famous incident at the G8 summit in St. Petersburg
in 2006 when Bush, unaware he was on camera, greeted British Prime
Minister Tony Blair with the words "Yo Blair."
Bush's sometimes muddled syntax and mispronunciation of words like
nuclear ("nukular") have long been fodder for late-night TV comedians.
But aides say his folksy style has helped endear him to Middle
America.

XX - Nursery rhymes they never taught you at school

Nursery Rhymes we didn't have as kids

Mary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little ba *tard.

********************

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two slices of bread.
********************

JACK AND JILL Went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.
********************

SIMPLE SIMON met a Pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pie man,
"What have you got there?"
Said the Pie man unto Simon,
"Pies, you Dumb A*s"
********************

HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings' horses,
And all the kings' men.
Had scrambled eggs,
For breakfast again.
********************

HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun.
Then died of electric shock.
********************

GEORGIE PORGY Pudding and Pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
And when the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.

Saturday, September 08, 2007

Toes and stuff

Mind Reading

Love at first sight

Bush Impersonator

Is this happiness

Mothers - in all shapes and colors

Press Enter and then Click on arrows at the bottom of the slides to see the next slide(s)...

XXX - Naughty Humour!

What is the similarity between a wife and a chewing gum?
Both, are sweet and tight in the beginning, but become tasteless and
shapeless later.

Sex is like a restaurant.
Sometimes you get full satisfactory service,
And sometimes you have to be satisfied with "self-service."

One night a boy asked his girlfriend:
"Darling are you free tonight"
His girlfriend shouted and replied:
"Have I ever charged you before?"

Patient:
My 5 year old son is very naughty. He has made my maid pregnant.
Doctor:
How the hell is that possible?
Patient:
He took a pin and punched holes in all my condoms.

A banker, confused with maths, asked his secretary:
If I give you $3 million less 17%, how much would you take-off?
Sec: Everything, sir !!!

Love is not measured by:
HUGGING,
KISSING &
SEX.
It is all about:
Trusting,
Respecting &
Accepting a person...
With:
OPEN LEGS,
CLOSED EYES,
WET LIPS saying
GIMME MORE!!!

Johnny asks grandpa:
"Do you still have sex with grandma?"
Grandpa says:
"Yes, but only oral."
Johnny:
"What's oral?"
Grandpa:
"I say f*** you, she says f*** you too."

A kid asked the priest:
"Father, what is your pastime?"
The priest tapped the kid's shoulder and replied:
"Nun, my child, nun."

Man at medical shops wants viagra.
Says:
"Give extra dose, 3 girls are coming."
Next day he wants 'iodex.'
Chemist asks:
"Why, what happened?"
Man
"The girls didn't come."

Week-End Jokes!

Elderly Joke.

Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things.

One lady says, "You know, I'm getting really forgetful. This morning,
I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn't remember
whether I had just come up or was about to go down."

The second lady says, "You think that's bad? The other day, I was
sitting on the edge of my bed, and I couldn't remember whether I was
going to bed or had just woken up!"

The third lady smiles smugly. "Well, my memory's just as good as it's
always been, knock on wood."

She raps the table. With a startled look on her face, she asks, "Who's there?!"
Men Vs. Women.

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.
"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your
secret for a long happy life?"
"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a
case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."
"That's amazing," said the woman, "how old are you?

"I am just 26yrs old!"
Fastest gun in West.
A cowboy sitting in a saloon one Saturday night.
He recognized an elderly man standing at the bar who, in his day, had
the reputation of being the fastest gun in the West.
The young cowboy took a place next to the old-timer, bought him a
drink and told him the story of his great ambition.
"Do you think you could give me some tips?" he asked.
The old man looked him up and down and said,
"Well, for one thing, you're wearing your gun too high.Tie the holster
a little lower down on your leg."
"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man.
"Sure will," replied the old-timer.
The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his 44 and
shot the bow tie off the piano player.
"That's terrific!" said the hot shot. "Got any more tips for me?"
"Yep," said the old man. "Cut a notch out of your holster where the
hammer hits it. That'll give you a smoother draw"
"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the younger man.
"You bet it will," said the old-timer.
The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his
gun in a blur, and then shot a cufflink off the piano player.
"Wow!" exclaimed the cowboy "I'm learnin' somethin' here. Got any more tips?"
The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon.
"See that axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it."
The young man went over to the can and smeared some of the grease on
the barrel of his gun.
"No," said the old-timer, "I mean smear it all over the gun, handle and all."
"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man.
"No," said the old-timer, "but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing the
piano, he's gonna shove that gun up your ass, and it won't hurt as
much................

ELDERLY SECRET.

The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first
time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this
very tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to
you." "Yes, she says, "I remember it well."

"OK," he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we
can do it for old time's sake?" "Oh Charlie, you old devil, that
sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation
and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to
see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an
eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for
support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the
tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt
and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence,
the old man moves in. Then suddenly they! Erupt into the most furious
sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten
minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming.
Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life
and old age that he didn't know. After about half an hour of lying on
the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put
their clothes back on.

The Policeman is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly
amazing; I've got to ask them what their secret is. So, as the couple
passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You
must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of
secret to this?"

Shaking the old man is barely able to reply, "Fifty years ago that
wasn't an electric fence."

Friday, September 07, 2007

M E N

Time for some male bashing..... (For a change)...

Q: What is the difference between men and puppies?
A: Puppies grow up.

Q: Why do men always have a stupid look on their faces?
A: Because they are...

Q: What do men have in common with ceramic tiles?
A: Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them forever.

Q: If you drop a man and a brick out of a plane, which one would hit
the ground first?
A: Who cares?????.....

Q: What did God say after he created man?
A: I can do better than this! And then he created woman!

Q: What's the difference between an intelligent man & a UFO?
A: I don't know, I've never seen either.

Q: What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
A:-

i) no mind

ii) no business

Q: What is the difference between men and pigs?
A: Pigs don't turn into men when they drink...

Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no
intention of driving.

Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift?
A: Exchange him!!

Q: Why do men like smart women?
A: Opposites attract.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

More Udarawana

You need to pronounce the words with the right 'accent'!!

Udurawana applying to a medical school to become a doctor?

Needless to say he never made it. You know why? These are the answers
he wrote in his entrance exam.

Antibody - against everyone

ARTERY - The study of the paintings.

BACTERIA - back door to a cafeteria.

CAESAREAN SECTION - a district in Rome.

CARDIOLOGY - advance study of poker playing.

CAT SCAN - searching for lost kitty.

CHRONIC - neck of a crow.

COMA - punctuation mark.

CORTISONE - area around local court.

CYST - short for sister.

DIAGNOSIS - person with slanted nose.

DILATE - the late British Princess Diana.

DISLOCATION - in this place.

DUODENUM - couple in blue jeans.

ENEMA - not a friend.

FAKE LABOUR - pretending to work.

GENES - blue denim.

HERNIA - she is close by.

IMPOTENT - distinguished/ well known.

LABOUR PAIN - hurt at work.

LACTOSE - people without toes.

LYMPH - walk unsteadily.

MICROBES - small dressing gown.

OBESITY - city of Obe.

PACEMAKER - winner of Nobel peace prize.

PROTEINS - in favor of teens.

PULSE - grain.

PUS - small cat.

RED blood count - Dracula.

SECRETION - hiding anything.

TABLET - small table.

ULTRASOUND - radical noise.

URINE - opposite of you're out.

VARICOSE - very close

XXX - ADULT HUMOUR

Similarities BRA and BAR!
Both are drinking joints!
Both have restriction time on closing and opening timings.
Both are flashy!
When open, both drive men mad.

********************************************************
Why women wear undergarments with flowers printed on them?
To pay tribute to men who got buried under them.

********************************************************
Why was the man arrested in the political rally?
Because he saw a lady journalist going with a badge on her chest which
said 'PRESS' and he did.

******************************************************
There are 3 Male and 1 Female pencils in a box.
The Female pencil got pregnant!!
Which Male pencil is responsible?
THE ONE WITHOUT THE RUBBER

******************************************************
Three Roosters:
Normal, retarded and a gay.
Normal: cock-a-doodle-dooo !!!
Retarded: doodle-cock-a-dooo !!!
Gay: any-cock-will dooo!!!

******************************************************
Yesterday News -
A nun jogging at Jogger' Park was raped by 4 guys.
Today's News: -
Nearly 100 nuns found jogging at the park.

******************************************************
Income Tax office asked a Prostitute why she puts her occupation as
CHICKEN FARMER.
She replied:
I RAISED 500 COCKS LAST YEAR.!!

******************************************************
Secretary saw her boss' pant's zip open, she tells him,
"Sir your garage door is open."
Boss :
Did U see my FERRARI?
Secretary :
I saw a small scooter with 2 punctured wheels.
******************************************************

Cigarette Warning!

Recent Canadian government research has shown that cigarette smoking
not only impairs sexual ability, it actually causes shrinkage of the
male sexual "equipment."

Wow!
If that is true, we need to get the word out ASAP!
Maybe the warning on the cigarette packs should be updated to reflect
this new information.
How about something like this:

* Warning!: These cigarettes are king size -- how about you?

* Warning!: Smoking sections in restaurants aren't the only things
getting smaller.

* Warning!: If you don't reduce your smoking, your smoking will reduce you.

* Warning!: Smoking may lead to ridicule on your honeymoon.

* Warning!: Smoke rises, but you may not.

* Warning!: Second-hand smoke can be harmful to children -- That is...
If you're capable of conceiving any.

* Warning!: Cigarettes get shorter the more you puff -- so do you.

* Warning!: How can you enjoy a smoke afterwards, if there's no before?

* Warning!: The only thing left after a smoke is a dead stub.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

ROMANTIC TIPS AND SECRETS

Send a dozen roses:
11 red roses and 1 white one.
The note:
"In every bunch there's one who stands out - and you are that one."
"The art of love ... Is largely the art of persistence" Dr Albert Ellis

Write him/her a check for one million kisses.

Something for the Honeymoon or anniversary....
A lottery ticket and a note:
"I hit the jackpot when I married you."

Book A Massage to give your partner a professional massage..

Hide a love note in a bottle of vitamins.
The note will say:
"Try some vitamin L."

Scatter rose petals all over the bed.

Buy the music CD "Let's talk about love" by Celine Dion.

Write notes on Post-it notes and stick them around.

Hide a love note in his pants pocket.

Other places to hide a small note:
* under the pillow
* in his shaving kit
* between the pages he/she is reading

Guys:
Know her dress size,
Shoe and stocking size,
Blouse and nightgown size,
Bra and panty size,
Pants and coat size,
And of course her
Finger size (for rings that fit).
Gals:
Know his coat size,
Shoe and hat size,
Shirt and pants size,
Finger size (for bowling balls that fit)...

Give the gift of time (wristwatch) with this inscription:
"I'll always have time for you."

NEVER, never, never say:
"I told you so". .

Ask him to pick a number between 1 and 50, then reward him with that
number of kisses.

Make a habit of taking a stroll after dinner every evening.

"Women fall in love through their ears, men fall in love through their
eyes." Woodrow Wyatt.

When dining, share everything:
Your meals and desserts.

Attach a note on the TV remote:
"Turn me on instead!"

Sign your letters:
"Forever and a day"

Place a heart-shaped sticker on your wristwatch to remind you to call.

On your lover's birthday send his/her mother a
"Thank you" card.

Hide a pair of earrings in a box of chocolates.

Celebrate the anniversary of when you first met.

Use the little strips of paper from Hershey's kisses as coupons
redeemable for one kiss each.

Tell your mate that you -
Love,
Adore,
Admire,
Cherish,
Desire,
Want,
Need,
Prize,
Esteem,
Idolize,
Revere,
Treasure him/her.

Hide a little gift for her so she'll find it during a walk together.

Leave a note:
"I know we are soul mates because....."

"Imagination is more important than knowledge" - Albert Einstein

Give her your jacket when she is chilly.

Nothing is impossible to a willing heart,
So let your imagination go wild...

Guys:
Hold her dinner chair.

"One does not fall 'in' or 'out' of love. One grows in love" - Leo Buscaglia

Buy her an outfit while she's trying it on;
Let her wear it out of the store.

Slip a little love note into his wallet,
In between the dollar bills.

Inspiration for long time lovers:
"The older the violin, the sweeter the music" - Anonymous

Gently brush her cheeks with your lips.

Give him a lottery ticket. Attach a note:
"You are one in a million"

While slow dancing, whisper something sweet to her.

Get the song "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston.

When attending a wedding, whisper:
"If I had to do it over, I'd marry you again."

Hide a teeny, tiny gift somewhere on your body and make him find it. .

Fold a love note in a fluffy bath towel.

Run your hands under warm water before going to bed.

Let a Shakespearean quote speak for you.

Gals:
Never, never, never talk about your past boyfriends in front of him.

Sprinkle perfume on to light bulb.
When light is turned on the scent of the perfume will fill the room.

Listen to a romantic audio tape,
Fix a cup of hot flavoured tea, and light two candles.

Keep a journal of your romantic fantasies.
Share it with your soul mate.

Play "hide-and-seek" in the rain.
It's fun and VERY sensual!

Fill bathtub with warm water sprinkled with rose petals.

Invite your sweetie to an intimate dinner at your place.
Make a pizza and with the pepperoni you can write something sweet,
like "you are the one for me".

Surprise your lover with a kiss before they can finish a sentence.

Write your own love poems then record them on a tape and give them to
your sweetheart.

Give your love an antique compass and say:
"You will never lose me".
Your love will swear the needle always points to their heart!

While your love takes a shower, write the words:
"I love you" in the condensation of the bathroom mirror.

Leave a trail of "Hershey's chocolate kisses" from the front door to
the bedroom, right up to the bed.
On the bed leave a note that reads:
'I kiss the ground you walk on.'
Make sure you're not home when s/he gets in!

Play the game of monopoly with a few new rules.
Change boardwalk into backrub, and Tennessee into take your shirt off.
Every time you pass go, you get a kiss. etc.

Look straight into the eyes of your love
And PAY ATTENTION to what they tell you!
Tell your mate something about you that no one else knows.

Look into the eyes of your special someone often.
"The eyes are the window to the soul".
Weave love, sex, intimacy, passion and romance into the fabric of your
daily lives.

Buy a set of matching silk pajamas, and take turns modeling them for
each other.

Men: Talk more.
Women: Touch more.

Why men don't write advice columns

Dear Walter:
I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work
leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't
gone more than a few hundred yards down the road when my engine conked
out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my
husband's help.
When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was parading in
front of the wardrobe mirror dressed in my underwear and high-heel
shoes, and he was wearing my make up.
I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve
years. When I confronted him, he tried to make out that he had
dressed in my lingerie because he couldn't find his own underwear.
But when I asked him about the make up, he broke down and admitted
that he'd been wearing my clothes for six months. I told him to stop
or I would leave him.
He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been
feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much,
but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly
distant. I don't feel I can get through to him anymore. Can you
please help?

Sincerely,
Mrs. Sheila Lusk

= = = =
Dear Sheila:
A car stalling a fter being driven a short distance can be caused
by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there
is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the jubilee
clips holding the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold. If none of
these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump
itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor
float chamber. I hope this helps.

Walter

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Humour on Wednesday!

Three times ???

An old Jewish couple was sitting around one evening and he says to his
wife, "Sarah, we are about to celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary,
so tell me, have you ever been unfaithful to me?"
She hesitated a while and said, "Yes, 3 times."
"Three times!? How did it happen?" he asks.
"Well, do you remember right after we were married and we were broke
and the bank was going to foreclose on our little house?" "Yes, that
was really a terrible time."
"Okay, well do you remember when I went to see the banker and the next
day he extended our loan? "It is hard to believe," he said, "but I
guess it really was for us and I can forgive you."
She continued, "And do you remember years later when you almost died
from the heart problem because we couldn't afford the operation?"
"Of course I remember."
"Well, then you also remember that right after I went to see the
doctor he did your operation at no cost?"
"Yes," he said, "that shocks me too but I understand you did it
because of your love for me and I forgive you.
But, tell me, what was the third time?"
She responded, "Do you remember when you ran for Temple president...
And needed 34 more votes?"
Recent Quips from Late Night.......

"Idaho Sen. Larry Craig, a married, very anti-gay conservative
Republican, was arrested by a plainclothes police officer for lewd
conduct in a Minneapolis airport men's room. Today the senator's
office said it was all a big misunderstanding. Apparently what
happened was when the senator went in to use the restroom, he
accidentally grabbed the wrong penis." --Jay Leno

"There's another scandal in Washington. One of the senator's from
Idaho, Larry Craig, was arrested in airport men's room. Gives new
meaning to the word 'caucusing.'" --David Letterman

"The police report says he tapped his foot, which means 'I want gay
sex.' And, also means I'll never wear my iPod to the bathroom again."
--Jimmy Kimmel

"Needless to say, Senator Craig is also anti-gay marriage and gays in
the military, which I think, shows he doesn't let his personal needs
interfere with his work." --Jimmy Kimmel, on Larry Craig's bathroom
incident

"You know who I feel sorry for in this whole thing? The undercover
cop. How'd you like to have that job. Sit in an airport bathroom all
day, your pants around your ankles with a coffee and a donut waiting
for guys to hit on you." --Jay Leno

"Earlier today, after months of scandals and political pressure,
Attorney General Alberto Gonzales announced he's going to resign.
Gonzales said, 'There comes a time when a man should resign, and that
time for me was last January.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Russian leader Vladimir Putin -- have you seen this guy? He gets his
picture taken a lot with his shirt off. We used to have a pantless
president, they've got a shirtless president. He was named 'Sexiest
Commie Alive' ... Nearly edging out Hugo Chavez and Kim Jong-Il. ...
But people are stunned the Russian president appearing in public
without a shirt. And I was thinking, 'Well heck, our president often
appears in public without a brain'" --David Letterman

XXX - HOW MEN THINK --

A woman was in a coma, she had been in it for months.
Nurses were in her room giving her a blanket bath. One
of them was washing her private area and noticed that
there was a slight response on the monitor when she
touched her. They tried it again and sure enough there
was a small, recognizable movement

They went to her husband and explained what happened,
telling him, "As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little
oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the
coma."

The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that
they'd close the curtains for privacy. The husband
finally agreed and went into his wife's room.

After a few minute s the woman's monitor flat lined,
no pulse, no heart rate. The nurses run back into the
room. "What happened!?" they cried.

The husband said, "I'm not sure, maybe she choked".

Monday, September 03, 2007

Quotes.................

In every man's heart there is a secret nerve that answers to the
vibrations of beauty."
-- Christopher Morley.

Television is the first truly democratic culture - the first culture
available to everybody and entirely governed by what the people want.
The most terrifying thing is what people do want.
-- Clive Barnes.

The price of freedom of religion, or of speech, or of the press, is
that we must put up with a good deal of rubbish.
-- Robert Jackson.

"Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief she is beautiful."
-- Sophia Loren.

"Oh how sweet it is to hear one's own convictions from another's lips."
-- Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe.

Art suffers the moment other people start paying for it.
The more you need the money, the more people will tell you what to do.
The less control you will have.
The more bullshit you will have to swallow.
The less joy it will bring.
Know this and plan accordingly.
-- Hugh Macleod.

A Nun, a priest and a camel

A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel.

On the third day out the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning.

After dusting themselves off, the nun and the priest surveyed their situation.

After a long period of silence, the priest spoke.

"Well, sister, this looks pretty grim."

"I know, father. In fact, I don't think it likely that we can survive more
than a day or two."

"I agree," says the Father. "Sister, since we are unlikely to make it out of
here alive, would you do something for me?"

"Anything, Father."

I have never seen a woman's breasts and I was wondering if I might see
yours."

Well, under the circumstances I don't see that it would do any harm."

The nun opened her habit and the priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely
breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty.

"Sister, would you mind if I touched them?"

She consented and he fondled them for several minutes.

"Father, could I ask something of you?"

"Yes, Sister?"

"I have never seen a man's penis. Could I see yours?"

"I suppose that would be OK," the priest replied, lifting his robe.

"Oh Father, may I touch it?"

This time the priest consented and after a few minutes of fondling he was
sporting a huge erection.

"Sister, you know that if I insert my penis in the right place, it can
produce life."

"Is that true father?"

"Yes, it is, Sister."

"Oh Father that's wonderful, Stick it in the camel and let's get the
f...out of here."

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