Fwd: Lexophiles (Humour)

"Lexophile" is a word used to describe those that love using wordsin
rather unique ways, such as;
"you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish",
Or
"to write with a broken pencil is pointless."

A competition to see who can come up with the best one is held every year.

This year's winning submission is posted at the very end.

. When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
. The batteries were given out free of charge.
. A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
. A will is a dead giveaway.
. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
. When you've seen one shopping Centre you've seen a mall.
. Police were called to a day care Centre where a three-year-old was
resisting a rest.
. Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off?
He's all right now.
. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
. When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.
. Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.
.
And the cream of the wretched crop:
Those who get too big for their pants will be exposed in the end.