Retirement Benefits

Perks of reaching 50
Or being over 60
And heading towards
70 or beyond!

1..
Kidnappers are not very
interested in you.

2.
In a hostage situation,
you are likely to be released first.

3..
No one expects you to run --
anywhere.

4.
People call at 9 PM (or 9 AM) and ask,
'Did I wake you?'

5..
People no longer view you as a
hypochondriac.

6.
There is nothing left
to learn the hard way.

7..
Things you buy now will
never wear out.

8.
You can eat
supper at 4 PM.

9..

You can live without most things
but not your glasses.

10..
You get into heated arguments
about pension plans.

11.
You no longer think of speed limits
as a challenge.

12..
You quit trying to hold
your stomach in no matter who walks
into the room.

13.
You sing along
with elevator music.

14..
Your eyes won't get
much worse..

15.
Your investment in health insurance
is finally beginning to pay off.

16..
Your joints are more accurate meteorologists
than the national weather service.

17.
Your secrets are safe with your friends
because they can't remember them either.

18..
Your supply of brain cells is finally down to
a manageable size.

19.
You can't remember
who sent you this list.

And you notice these are all
in big print
for your convenience.

Forward this to everyone
You can remember
Right now!

AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING:

Never, NEVER, NEVER ,
Under any circumstances,
Take a sleeping pill, and a laxative on
The same night!