Adult Themes Jokes

(1) To make it straight, she pulls it..
To make it stand, she rubs it.
To make it stiff, she licks it.
To put it in, she pushes it.
It's hell of a job threading a needle!

(2) A guy donated blood to his girlfriend. When they broke up, he
wanted his blood back.
The girl threw a bloody kotex at him and said, I'll pay you in
monthly installment.'

(3) Girl in cinema turns sideways and whispers to her boyfriend.
'The man next to me is masturbating!'
Bf: 'Ignore him.'
Gf: 'I can't.'
Bf: 'Why not?'
Gf: 'He is using my hand!'

(4) The Bio teacher draws a huge PENIS on the board and asks 'Does
anybody know what this is?
Dirty Harry says 'Oh, it's a penis and you know my dad's got 2 of them?'
The teacher says '2 of them?'
Harry says 'ya! the little one he uses to pee, and the big one
to brush mum's teeth.'

(5) 4 miracles of a woman
Getting wet without taking a shower
Bleeding without getting hurt
Giving milk without eating grass
Making boneless meat hard.

(6) What is the smallest hotel in the world?
The answer is 'Vagina Inn'
It accomodates only 1 standing occupant with his 2 baggages left outside.

(7) Unborn twins saw a penis approaching.
1st: Papa coming, papa coming.
2nd: U fool, it's uncle lah. Papa never comes with raincoat!

(8) A hubby said to his wife, 'I will take a photo of your breast and
frame it..'
The wife said to husband, 'I will take a photo of your penis and
enlarge it.'

(9) At 15, a girl is a SURPRISE.
At 25, she is the RIGHT PRICE.
At 35, a GRAND PRIZE.
At 45, a CONSOLATION PRIZE.
At 55, she is a DOOR PRIZE, and
at 65, a GIVEAWAY PRIZE.

(10) The vagina is the world's best rehabilitation/correction center.
Even the most violent and aggressive penis comes out humbled,
head bowed and reduced in size.

(11) Lady was trying on a dress.
Husband: 'Your bum is as big as a BBQ pit!'
Later in bed, husband said, 'Want to do it?'
Wife: 'It's a waste lighting up a BBQ pit for a small sausage.'