Fwd: Indian English Sentence Construction

POOR GRAMMAR IN JOLLY OLD ENGLAND ......….…

These are extracts from letters sent to the Leicester Council and
other British Housing associations written by members of Indian ethnic
groups.
1. I want some repairs done to my wife's cooker as it has backfired
and burnt my knob off.
2. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when
he put his foot in the hole in my back passage. And their 18-year-old
son is continually banging his balls against my fence.
3. I wish to report that the tiles are missing from the outside
toilet roof. I think it was that bad wind the other night that blew
them off.
4. I am writing on behalf of my sink which is coming away from the wall.
5. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path, my wife
tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant?
6. I request permission to remove and change my drawers in the
kitchen. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and the
rest are plain filthy.
7. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is
cleared.
8. Will you please send a man to look at my water? It is a funny
color and not fit to drink.
9. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.
10. I want to complain about the farmer across the road, every
morning at 6:00 am his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much
for me.
11. The man next door has a large erection in the garden, which is
unsightly and dangerous.
12 .Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two small children and would
like a third so please send someone round to do something about it.
13. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you
please do something about the noise made by the man I have on top of
me every night.
14. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and
satisfy my wife.