Love-Making Tips For Seniors!

1.
Wear your glasses.
TO make sure your partner
is actually in the bed.

2.
Set timer for 3 minutes,
In case you doze off
in the middle of the session.

3.
Set the mood with lighting.
(Turn them ALL OFF!)

4.
Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial
before you begin.

5.
Write partner's name on your hand
in case you can't remember.

6.
Use extra polygrip so your teeth
don't end up under the bed.

7.
Have Tylenol ready
in case you actually complete the act.

8.
Make all the noise you want...
The neighbors are deaf too.

9.
If it works,
call everyone you know
with the good news!!

10.
Don't even think about trying it twice...
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'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your sweetie says,
'Let's go upstairs And make love,' and
you answer,
'Pick one; I can't do both!'

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your friends compliment you
on your new alligator shoes
And you're barefoot.

'OLD' IS WHEN....
You don't care where your spouse goes,
just as long as you don't have to go along.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor
instead of by the police .

'OLD' IS WHEN...
'Getting a little action' means you don't need
to take any fiber today.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
'Getting lucky'
means you find your car in the parking lot.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.

AND

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are not sure if these are facts or jokes?
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