The Royal Baby

The Royal Baby


It finally happened. Kate Middleton gave birth to a baby boy today. The baby
weighed about 8 pounds. Americans were like, "How much is that in dollars?"

Kate Middleton had her baby. The royal baby is 8 pounds. Then again, you
can't really put a price on a child.

The Tonight Show With Jay Leno

The royal baby has left the hospital. He will now go to one of the royal
estates, where he will rest comfortably — for the next 80 years.
This royal baby is third in line for the throne. To which Prince Charles
said, "It's a really slow-moving line."
William and Kate spent the morning thanking the hospital staff for all their
care. And the other patients spent the morning trying to find the hospital
staff. "My wife is having a baby too. Hello! Anybody?"

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Conan

The royal baby has been born. The royal baby was officially welcomed with a
62-gun salute. Because if there's one thing babies love, it's the sound of
repeated artillery fire.
Experts are predicting that the royal baby could pump $380 million into the
British economy. So the question is: How do we get this kid to move to
Detroit?
The royal baby is set to inherit $1 billion. In fact, he's so rich that he's
already dating a girl half his age.
President Obama has issued a statement about the royal baby. He told him to
hang on to the birth certificate. Those things come in handy.


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The Late Show With David Letterman

Britain's new prince is third in line to the throne. And listen to this — my
son is third in line for "The Late Show."
The young couple, William and Kate, would like it if we all would have
consideration and respect for their privacy. Well, they're off to a good
start, aren't they?
Buckingham Palace announced the child's gender. I wish they'd do the same
with Camilla.

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The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson

Today we got our first look at the royal baby. Hurray for Kate and William.
That little guy has only the tiniest tuft of hair on his head. And the
baby's got some hair too