“Dam” beaurocrats
This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries regarding
a pond on his property. It was sent by the Pennsylvania Department
of Environmental Quality, State of Pennsylvania .
This guy's response is Hilarious but read the State's letter before
you get to the response letter.
This is the actual letter:
State of Pennsylvania 's letter to Mr. DeVries:
SUBJECT: DEQ .... File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec 20;
Lycoming County
.
Dear Mr. DeVries:
It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental
Quality, that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the
above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the
legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following
unauthorized activity:
Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across
the outlet stream of Spring Pond.
A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity..
A review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been
issued Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity
is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural
Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public
Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the
Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.
The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams
partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and
flooding at downstream locations..
We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and
cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to
cease and desist all activities at this location, and to restore the
stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush
forming the dams from the stream channel. All restoration work
shall be completed no later than January 31, 2010.
Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed
so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff.
Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized
activity on the site may result in this case, being referred for
elevated enforcement action..
We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this
matter. Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any
questions.
Sincerely,
David L. Price
District Representative and Water Management Division.
_________________________________________________________________
Here is the actual response sent back by Mr. DeVries:
Re: DEQ File
No.. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County
Dear Mr.. Price,
Your certified letter dated 11/17/09 has been handed to me.
I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at
2088 Dagget Lane ,
Trout Run, Pennsylvania .
A couple of beavers are in the process of constructing and
maintaining two wood 'debris' dams across the outlet stream of
my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise
their dam project, I think they would be highly offended that you
call their skillful use of nature's building materials 'debris.'
I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate
their dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe
I can safely state there is no way you could ever match their dam
skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam
persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.
These are the beavers/contractors you are seeking. As to your
request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must first
fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity.
My first dam question to you is:
(1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers, or
(2) do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to
said dam request?
If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers,
through the Freedom of Information Act, I request completed
copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have
been issued. (Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation
of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource
and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of
1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled
Laws, annotated.)
I have several dam concerns.
My first dam concern is, aren't the beavers entitled to legal
representation ? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially
destitute and are unable to pay for said representation --
so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer.
The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the
dams failed during a recent rain event, causing flooding, is proof
that this is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required
to protect. In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond
Beavers alone rather than harassing them and calling them dam
names.
If you want the dammed stream 'restored' to a dam free-flow
condition please contact the beavers -- but if you are going to
arrest them, they obviously did not pay any attention to your dam
letter, they being unable to read English.
In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to
build their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass
is green and water flows downstream. They have more dam rights
than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of
Natural Resources and Environmental Protection lives up to its
name, it should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the
environment (Beavers' Dams).
So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be
referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why
wait until 1/31/2010 ? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the
dam ice by then and there will be no way for you or your dam
staff to contact/harass them.
In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real
environmental quality, health, problem in the area. It is the
bears! Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely
believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave
the beavers alone. If you are going to investigate the beaver dam,
watch your dam step! The bears are not careful where they dump!
Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable
to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this
response to your dam office.
THANK YOU,
RYAN DEVRIES & THE DAM BEAVERS
