I w..a..s a..l..m..o..s..t m..a..r..r..i..e..d."- (bad 'un)

These two guys meet after not having seen each other for many many years.
First guy asks the second guy,

"How have things been going?"

The second guy speaking very slowly tells the first guy,

"I w..a..s a..l..m..o..s..t m..a..r..r..i..e..d."

The first guy says in amazement, "Hey; you don't stutter any more."

The answer comes, " Y..e..s, I w..e..n..t t..o a
d..o..c..t..o..r a..n..d h..e t..o..l..d m..e t..h..a..t
i..f I s..p..e..a..k s..l..o..w..l..y I w..i..l..l n..o..t
s..t..u..t..t..e..r."

The first friend congratulates him and than asks again about how he
was almost married.

"W..e..l..l, m..y f..i..a..n..c..e..e a..n..d I w..e..r..e
s..i..t..t..i..n..g o..n h..e..r p..o..r..c..h a..n..d t..h..e
d..o..g w..a..s s..c..r..a..t..c..h..i..n..g h..i..s b..a..c..k
a..n..d I t..o..l..d h..e..r t..h..a..t w..h..e..n w..e
a..r..e m..a..r..r..i..e..d, s..h..e c..o u l d d..o
t..h..a..t f..o..r m..e a..n..d s..h..e t..h..r..e..w
t..h..e r..i..n..g i..n m..y f..a..c..e.."


"Why should she throw the ring in your face for that?" asks the first
friend.

" W..e..l..l, I s..p..e..a..k s..o s..l..o..w..l..y,
t..h..a..t b..y t..h..e t..i..m..e s..h..e
l..o..o..k..e..d a..t t..h..e d..o..g, h..e w..a..s
l..i..c..k..i..n..g h..i..s b..a..l..l..s"