Thursday, August 28, 2014

Sir Winston Churchill was once asked about his position on whisky.

Here's how he answered:
"If you mean whisky, the devil's brew, the poison scourge, the bloody
monster that defiles innocence, dethrones reason, destroys the home, creates
misery and poverty, yea, literally takes the bread from the mouths of little
children; if you mean that evil drink that topples men and women from the
pinnacles of righteous and gracious living into the bottomless pit of
degradation, shame, despair, helplessness and hopelessness, then, my friend,
I am opposed to it with every fibre of my being."

"However, if by whisky you mean the oil of conversation, the philosophic
wine, the elixir of life, the ale that is consumed when good fellows get
together, that puts a song in their hearts and the warm glow of contentment
in their eyes; if you mean good cheer, the stimulating sip that puts a
little spring in the step of an elderly gentleman on a frosty morning; if
you mean that drink that enables man to magnify his joy, and to forget
life's great tragedies and heartbreaks and sorrow; if you mean that drink
the sale of which pours into our treasuries untold millions of pounds each
year, that provides tender care for our little crippled children, our blind,
our deaf, our dumb, our pitifully aged and infirm, to build the finest
highways, hospitals, universities, and community colleges in this nation…
then my friend, I am absolutely, unequivocally in favour of it..!!!"

"This is my position, and as always, I refuse to compromise on matters of
principle.!!!"
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Monday, August 11, 2014

Fwd: Humour: My Job Search!

My Job Search!



1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got
canned. Just couldn't concentrate.

2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, But just couldn't hack
it, so they gave me the axe.


3. After that, I tried being a Tailor,
but wasn't suited for it -- mainly because it was a sew-sew job.


4. Next, I tried working in Starbucks,
But I had to quit because it was the same old grind.


5. Then, I tried being a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to
my life, but just didn't have the thyme.


6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker,
but any way I sliced it.... I couldn't cut the mustard.


7. My best job was a Musician,
but eventually found I wasn't noteworthy.


8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor,
but didn't have any patience.


9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory.
Tried hard but just didn't fit in.


10. I became a Professional Fisherman,
but discovered I couldn't live on my net income.


11. I managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance company ,
but the work was just too draining.


12.. So then I got a job in a Workout Centre,
but they said I wasn't fit for the job...


13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a
job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it..

14. My last job was when I tried working in a Muffler Factory,
but that was too exhausting.




SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT



AND I FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!

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Fwd: Our Generation

WE ALL ARE UNIQUE AND THE MOST UNDERSTANDING GENERATION OF OUR TIME

BECAUSE WE ARE THE LAST GENERATION WHO LISTENED TO OUR PARENTS .....


AND ALSO THE FIRST TO HAVE LISTENED TO OUR CHILDREN! ! !

WE ARE NOT SPECIAL .......BUT LIMITED EDITION !

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Monday, August 04, 2014

Fwd: On a lighter side.....

God asked wives : I'm redesigning men with new hi tech features.
Any suggestions ??
Women : Yes,
that joy stick made for us should be,........ password protected .

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Fwd: FW: Don't jump to conclusion... Or CONCLUSIONS may jump on to you!

Don't jump to conclusion... Or CONCLUSIONS may jump on to you!


Excellent medical advice

1. F***ing once a week is good for your health, but its harmful if
done every day.

2. F***ing relaxes your mind & body.

3. F***ing refreshes you.

4. After F***ing don't eat too much; go for more liquids.

5. Try f***ing in bed cause it can save you valuable energy.

6. F***ing can even reduce your cholesterol levels.
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SO, REMEMBER ...

Fasting is good for health & may the good Lord cleanse your dirty mind...

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