on all alcohol bottles to tip off drinkers about the possible peril of
drinking a pint or two of any alcoholic beverage.
1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with a
breath that could knock a buzzard off a wreaking dead animal that is
one hundred yards away.
2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.
3. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same
boring story over and over again until your friends want to assault
you
4. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
5. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what
you really think of him.
6. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of
inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.
7. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you
are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy
named Psycho Bob.