Alphabet 2008

A is for apple, and B is for boat,
That used to be right, but now it won`t float!
Age before beauty is what we once said,
But let`s be a bit more realistic instead.

Now the Alphabet 2008

A`s for arthritis
B`s the bad back,
C`s the chest pains,
perhaps car-d-iac?

D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight, can`t read that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention,
G is for gas which I`d rather not
mention.

H is high blood pressure--I`d rather it be low,
I is for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of
socket, won`t mend,
K is for knees that crack when they bend.

L is for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget
what comes next.
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low,
O is for osteo, the bones that don`t grow!

P is for prescriptions, I have
quite a few,
just give me a pill and I`ll be good as new!
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.

S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
T is for Tinnitus there`s bells in my ears!
U is for urinary big troubles with flow,
V is for vertigo, that`s `dizzy,` you
know.

W is for worry, NOW what`s going `round?
X is for X- ray, and what might be found.
Y is another year I`m left here
behind,
Z is for zest that I still have -- in my mind.

I`ve survived all the symptoms, my body`s deployed,
And I am keeping
twenty-six doctors of the fully employed!!!