Monday, August 17, 2015

Fwd: A FEW INTERESTING AND IRONICAL PARADOXES IN INDIA.....

Indian moms want their daughters to control their

husband and expect their sons to control their wives.

Parents want their children to stand out in a
crowd but expect them to do what everybody else is doing.

Everything that is run by the government looks
very bad except government jobs.

National animal - endangered
National pledge - unintended
National river - polluted

A huge country of 1635 languages.....united by a foreign language.

Government talks about removing the caste system
but you are required to mention your caste on every damn form you fill.

Seeing a policeman makes us nervous rather than making us feel safe.

We often say "Atithi Devo Bhavah" but we do not
allow visitor parking in our residential societies...

Last and the best ones...

We are Always in a hurry but never on time..!

Holy places are very interesting places - The
poor beg outside and the rich beg inside.

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Friday, August 14, 2015

Fwd: Sex quotes

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual
arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz
560SL."
Lynn Lavner

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are
unimportant."
George Burns

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."
Sharon Stone

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
Jack Nicholson

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives,
but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady)

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's
genitals through his wallet."
Robin Williams

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable
undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other
women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men
are just grateful."
Robert De Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are
having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe
swelling. So what's the problem?"
Dustin Hoffman

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I
know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked !"
Jerry Seinfeld

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only
enough blood to run one at a time."
Robin Williams

"It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom."
Joan Rivers
"Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences
money can buy."
Steve Martin
"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older.
Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman.
Stuff you pay good money for in later life."
Elmo Phillips

"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."
Oscar Wilde

"It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."
George Burns






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